Thursday, May 7, 2009

I have a surgery date!

I felt like I was never going to get to my second surgery. I finally have a date of May 20th, at 1:15 pm. I can't wait! I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired! I feel this surgery is coming none too soon. I hurt so bad, just to sleep. My shoulders have been hurting lately. My hips hurt, right at the joint. My foot hurts, my hands, etc. I feel like I'm falling to pieces. I feel worse this time than I did last, in some ways. In others, I felt worse the first time. This time, my bp has been more stable, and the first time it was a real mess! This time, my sugar has been wacky, and last time it was ok. This is one crazy disease! I just can't wait until it's all over.

Of course, I wonder if it is ever really "over". We have to deal with the aftermath of Cushing's sometimes. The longer you have had it, the more damage it has done to your body. Those high doses of steroids can be masking things you don't even know is there, until your cortisol is normal again. It's not an over night cure. It's more of a process over a year or so, to get back to normal.

Honestly, I just can't imagine what it's like to be normal again. I have not been normal for years. LOL! Seriously! My mind cannot fathom what it feels like to feel good for the majority of the year, and only have a few sick days here and there. Right now, I feel sick the majority of the year, and only have a few good days. It will be such a change. Then there is learning to live life without adrenals. I'll have to learn what my physical limitations are. I use to be superwoman. I use to work, work, work my head off. I'm sure I will have to learn to scale back, even when I feel better, because it eventually catches up with you. It's not just, "Oh, I'm achy and extra tired." When you have no adrenals, overdoing it can land you in the hospital. It will be an adjustment period for quite a while. I'll have to learn how much extra medicine I need to take when I get sick, if I have an extra busy day, etc. Lots to adjust to, but I'm looking forward to all of it!


judycolby said...

Gracie, I'm excited for you. It's only been 24 hrs. for J&J and I already want to ask, does anything feel different? I refrain!
So glad you're coming to the end of Cushing's

Gracie said...

LOL! Thanks Judy. I can totally understand you wanting to know if anything feels better yet. At this point, I'm sure they are sore enough to not think about the things that might feel better.

I sent your package out today. It should be waiting for you when you get home.


judycolby said...

I will say I haven't noticed any mood swings today, but am not saying that out loud!
Actually, I think they are both in pain, Justin just never mentioned it until a little bit ago.
Are you marking the days off on the calendar like a kid at Christmas?LOL

Gracie said...

I'm checking off the days, but more in a panic mode, than Christmas! LOL! I've been running like a chicken with my head cut off, tying it all together. We leave in 10 days. I only have about 6 of those days I can work on the house and packing! The rest of the days are busy with something else.

I'm going into overdrive. I've been sweating buckets. Can we say, "HIGH"?

How are the kids feeling now? I do dread the after surgery pain, but look forward to the cure.